The Girl Who Fell Down The Well
by BethanyDee
Summary: Sequel to Take The Plunge : The 100th Hunger Games Phoenix has won the 100th Hunger Games, and now, takes up her new job as a mentor for the tributes of the 101st games, along with her fellow victors. But that's not all that's on her mind. She's trying to make life better for her family and friends. She's planning the escape. Will it be possible while the spotlight is still on her?
1. Introduction

_-News Report-_

_Victor of the One Hundredth Annual Hunger Games, Phoenix Victoria, is thought to be dead. _

_One week ago, she was lifted from the arena and rushed back to the Training Center hospital, where she has stayed for the past week._

_Officials will not comment on her condition, but our experts have analysed the injury from looking over the footage shown and say it's not looking good for the capitol sweetheart._

_Cards, flowers and many other gifts have been laid outside of the hospital. Many Capitol citizens are already mourning. _

_It was Phoenix's birthday yesterday, which brought even more attention to the matter. People are gathered outside of the hospital, all sharing the same hope. That Phoenix will emerge from behind those doors._

_Victors interviews have been put off for now, and most of Phoenix's family are staying here in the Capitol, with the exception of her Fiance, Will, who will see her if she gets home. Capitol officials think that it is best for him to stay back in District Four, and meet Phoenix if she arrives there._

_We can only hope that Phoenix will recover._

_More updates will be coming soon._


	2. Chapter One - Heartache

**Ooh, first chapter of the sequel! I'm practically starting again!**

**Quick note, if you haven't read my story "Take The Plunge : The 100th Hunger Games, then you should probably read it first, as you'll probably have no idea what's going on.**

**For those who have read it, sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger! I had to! It was my plan from the very start.**

**Anyway, here is the start of our new story.**

**I would really appreciate a review it'll help me get back into the routine of things. Feedback really helps me and motivates me.**

**PS, Lana Del Ray's music is what I have been listening to while writing recently. You'll see how it fits in to the story later on. **

**I'll be uploading a little less, as school is getting crazy again.**

**Chapter One - Heartache**

I hear my own name, whispered a million times in my head, over and over again. I don't know how long this has gone on for. Too long.

I'm in a dreamless sleep, caught up in the darkness, unable to set myself free.

I just want to die, is that too much to ask for? To be at peace after all these years of pain and loss? Apparently so.

I jolt awake, opening my eyes suddenly. Light floods through the dark prison of my own mind, setting me free from the shadows that held me so tightly.

I can only see bright light for a while, it's such a shock to be able to see again. My eyes slowly begin to focus.

I'm in a hospital room, quite obviously. In the Capitol. I'm surrounded by balloons, cards, and stuffed animals, with mixed messages.

"Happy Birthday" and "Get well soon."

Oh yeah. I forgot it was my birthday. Wait, my birthday?

How long have I been asleep for?

I try to work it out, counting backwards, but it's just too much for me to handle. I look to my fingers for help, and realise there is about three tubes stuck in my hand. Ugh. I would pull them out, but I guess they're keeping me alive.

I can hear clearly now, well, clearer than before anyway. There's an annoying beeping noise, I guess they're monitoring my heartrate, and the quiet buzz of a TV. I can't quite hear it, so I reach for the remote to turn it up. When I do, I get a shock.

On the screen, I as picture of me, in a dress, seemingly glowing, made of water. Flashes of memories seem to come back to me, but I can't piece together the puzzle. What happened to me? How did I get here?

The screen then shows crowds of people outside of a tall building, crying, even screaming.

That's unusual. People in the Capitol are usually very, very happy. Almost too happy.

Then, a voice is played over the sounds of the crying.

"Phoenix Victoria, victor of the 100th annual Hunger Games is thought to be dead after she sacrificed herself for her sister, Raven. Phoenix, her best friend and ally Hunter, and her brother Ryan got to Raven just in time to see the remaining tributes including Grace and Pike, about to kill Raven. While Hunter killed Grace and Ryan killed the others, Phoenix took a knife for Raven.

Phoenix is in the training centre building, where she has been for at least a week now. Officials have not said anything yet, but our experts say that it's not looking good. Interviews have been put off..."

I immedietly reach for the remote, turning off the TV. I was in the Hunger Games. It's all coming back now. Everything. From the first to the final moments.

It's terrifying.

I stay frozen for at least a few minutes, trying to get over the sheer horror of what I have just re-lived.

Then, I realise. Raven. Ryan. Hunter. Where are they?

I throw myself out of bed, stumbling across the room, a stabbing pain in my side. That'll be where the knife hit me.

I collapse onto the floor, taking everything that is attached to my arm with me. I'm still determined to get to that door.

I use my arms to pull myself along the floor, before reaching for the door handle and using all of my body weight to pull it down.

It doesn't even move in the slightest.

It's locked.

I feel like screaming, but I know that won't do any good. There's no point.

I just need to wait until someone figures out I'm awake, and opens the door from the other side. It shouldn't take that long.

So, I just have to wait.

Accepting defeat, I crawl back to my bed, pulling myself up and turning the radio on. Of course, there's no good music on.

I sigh and turn it off again, turning over, when something catches my eye amongst the piles of gifts and cards.

A tiny package, wrapped in tissue paper.

I reach for it, causing myself even more pain in the process. They could've at least given me some more morphlig.

I unwrap it slowly, pulling out the delicate bracelet. It's beautiful, the colour of the ocean back home.

When I read the label attatched to it, I find myself in pain again. It's not physical though.

_I'm so sorry Phoenix. I should have listened to you. If you ever wake up, please, please, please don't hate me. Because I don't hate you. I love you. More than anything in the world. You're my best friend. You're my sister. You saved me. And I couldn't be more grateful..._

_Raven._

**Woo! First official chapter! Yes, they will get longer, I'm just building things up. Thank you to anyone who has read my previous story, and is starting to read this one!**

**BethanyDee x x**


	3. Chapter Two - Alone

**On to the next chapter! I really have a lot of school work to do, so as I said in the last chapter, I'll be uploading a little less. I'll do my best though.**

**I'm trying to sort out my plans for this story, I know what the main parts of the story are going to be, I just have to add in the details and sort everything out, so please be patient. I feel really guilty when I make you guys wait!**

**Chapter Two - Alone**

I stare at the crumpled paper in my hands, reading the words over and over until I can no longer read them, as my tears have smudged the ink.

It makes me desperate, I need to escape from this room. This prison. I need to find her. I can't through.

I need to stay here, and not injure myself any more than I already have.

Sooner or later, somebody will open up that door, and the chaos that is my life will begin again. It's like somebody has just hit the pause button, and left me by myself to think things through, blocking out the whole world for me. In one way, I'm grateful. In another, I can't wait until they hit the play button again.

I tie the braclet Raven made for me around my wrist tightly. I haven't eaten properly for weeks, and it's definatley showing. The bracelets that were once tight against my skin now hang loose, my engagement ring barely stays on my finger.

I might as well take a look at all the other gifts, or Treasure will make me open them in front of everyone I know, maybe even in front of a camera, and I'd have to show fake enthusiasm. The only gifts I'll really appreciate are not gifts of money or diamonds, I'm not materialistic like that.

I'll appreciate gifts that actually mean something to me.

I roll back onto my side, reaching over for the first thing I can find. It's a small package, with an envelope stuck ontop of it.

I can't guess who it is by the handwriting, and to make it even more confusing, it is wrapped in simple, white paper. Not extravagant like some of the gifts I have seen.

I open it up, and inside is a copy of something I recognise. A song book. My song book. I flip through it, bringing back all the memories from before the games.

Who could have given me this?

I pick up the envelope, still trying to guess who it could be. I have no clue.

I open the card, and inside, is quite a long note. I force myself to read all of it, but my eyes are already getting sick of this world. My body wants me to sleep, but my brain refuses. What if I never wake up again?

_Dear Phee,_

_You did so well in the games, we do hope that you'll wake up. You have so much to live for, and everyone is missing you._

_We saw you reading through this before the games, and we didn't know what else we could get you. So, here you go. _

_You'll be okay._

_Happy Birthday._

_Donna and Jonothan._

Ah, that explains things. I wonder what they were thinking when they were watching me. They are the ones that would be sorting out my sponsors, they were the ones that helped Hunter.

If they hadn't, I probably wouldn't be here. Her, Ryan and I, we kept eachother alive. Without one another, we'd be dead for sure.

I put my song book down beside me, and reach for another gift. I can't guess what it is, but then, I'm not very good at guessing.

I pull off the paper, setting it down on the floor beside me. It's a small box. I open it up, and peer inside. There are three fishing hooks, obviously handmade. These could only be from one person.

I pick up the little note that is placed inside and try to read the messy handwriting.

_Phee. Please, wake up. I don't want to lose someone else I love. You're one of the only people I have left. _

_Happy Birthday to one of the two best sisters in the world._

_Hunter made one of the hooks, I taught her how to. She's worried about you._

It's from Ryan. I know it before I even see his name written at the bottom of the tear stained paper. It's unusual to see him this... Emotional. But then, I have been out for a week, or at least, according to that news program I have.

The fishing hooks remind me of my birthdays as a child. My father would wake me early, and we would all meet in the main room of the hut, where my mother would hand me my present. They always gave me something I loved. I can remember, the last year my mother was there for my birthday, I got three fishing hooks.

I wipe a tear from my face as I close the box.

I reach for the next present. It's heavy, and I can hardly lift it. I manage though. It's wrapped in bright blue paper, covered in sparkles and bows.

I already know who this is from.

I'm exoecting a handbag, shoes, or a dress, but I'm pleasantly surprised when I open up the box.

Inside, is a statue, a small one, made some sort of glass.

It's a mermaid. It looks exactly like what I pictured when my mother told me stories about them. It's not just a mermaid through. It's me.

I smile as I try to lift it, putting it on the table beside my bed where it shimmers in the florescent light.

I open up the card that was attatched to the box.

_Dearest Phoenix, _

_You did brilliantly in the games! You have the whole Capitol wrapped around your little finger! I do hope you recover from your horrible injury. We are all supporting you. If you don't belive me, look out of you window._

_I can't wait for you victors interview!_

_From Treasure._

Well... She's enthusiastic. Just as I remeber her.

It has taken me this long to realise that I'm crying. I don't even try to stop. If I'm going to be an emotional wreck, I might as well do it thoroughly.

Should I look out of my window? It's a pretty long way to go, but I'm sure I can make it if I have something to hold onto.

I manage to pull myself out of bed again, holding onto everything I can get my hands on for support. It reminds me of the first time I wore heels.

Ignoring the stabbing pain in my side, I slowly make my way towards the window. It's one way glass, so I'm not worried about anyone spotting me.

The familliar skyine of the Capitol is all I can see for a few seconds. It's like I'm seeing it all again for the first time. The glinting towers of steel and glass that stretch above the clouds and out of sight, the distant mountains that dominate the landscape, the bustling streets...

I look down, and I see a huge crowd gathered below the building.

So, this is what Treasure was talking about.

There are so many people, I can't even comprehend it. I can't see them properly, but I'm guessing, from what I saw on the news anyway, that they're not too happy.

I can see that there are barriers around the building, preventing anyone from attempting to get in, and ontop of that, rows of peacekeepers, making sure nobody does anything stupid.

I shudder. Since when did peacekeepers want to protect me? They've always been my enemies.

I'm tempted to open the window and wave at them, just to see what they do, but the windows will be locked, and I'm not that stupid.

I'm enjoying my time alone anyway. I just want to make sure that Ryan, Hunter, and Raven are okay. I'm sure they will be, but it's natural for me to worry.

I just stand there, leaning on the window ledge, watching the crowds below me. It's strange, how oblivious they are. Almost funny.

I'm engrossed by the ever changing colour show produced by their embellished wigs and bright clothing, I could just stand there and watch for hours. I watch for what seems like hours, but Is probably merely seconds. I'm losing track of time. I don't mind though.

I'm pulled out of my trance by the sound of my door unlocking.

I'm stepping out from behind the curtains and back into the spotlihgt.

**So, the story really begins next chapter! This was Phee just kind of remembering everyone. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon. I can't wait to really start this story and introduce you guys to some new characters! Eek! Excitement! **

**Thank you so much for reading.**

**BethanyDee x x **


	4. Chapter Three - Reunited

**So, we're on to chapter three. Sorry about the wait, my life has been a little crazy recently. I've also been trying to sort the plot of this story out, it's all very confusing, and it looks like it's going to be much longer than I predicted. Oh well.**

**I will be uploading less, as I said. One of my best friends has died, and I hope you understand that I'm going through a really hard time right now. I'm still writing, I guess the emotions I am feeling will make it more powerful, but still, I'm not at my best.**

**I'm sorry for the wait...**

**Chapter Three - Reunited**

"Phee?"

That voice. I'd know it anywhere. Raven.

Tears immedietly well in my eyes, and my lip begins to quiver uncontrollably as I turn around.

This is so surreal, I can't belive what I'm seeing.

Her eyes light up as she sees me, and the corners of her mouth turn up into a small smile. It's not long before she starts crying too. She doesn't even try to hide it. Her wide eyes are bloodshot and red rimmed, her pale skin looks washed out. The smile looks unfitting on her face, yet I couldn't be more happy to see it.

She runs towards me, her hair streaming out behind her in a tangled mess. I ignore the pain when she throws herslef into my arms, sobbing into my white hospital gown.

She is trying to form words, but I can't understand them. I'm not even trying to anyway. I'm just overjoyed to see her again.

After a while, I push her back and wipe the tears from her face with my thumb. She tries to laugh through the tears, trying to hide her weakness.

"You don't hate me?" she whispers, blinking the tears away.

"Why would I ever hate you Raven. You mean everything to me. My love for you, my sister, my friend, will forever exist in a place far beyond the infinity of words. You don't know how happy I am that I got to tell you that. Never, ever blame yourself. I'm the one that jumped in front of you.

Without you, do you think I could even bare my own existance knowing that you were gone, never to return to me? Do you really think that I could ever hate you?

Yes, you make bad decisions, and yes, sometimes we'll fight, but after spending all those endless days and terrifying nights in the arena, I realised something.

My life means nothing without the people I love. Without them, my existance is empty. My life would not be worth living.

So no, I don't hate you. And if you think that I do, after I told you that, then you must be living in some kind of distorted reality.

Never, ever ask me that again." I whisper, looking into her bright eyes. She's taking in every single word, I can tell.

"Promise?" I whisper.

"I promise." she smiles, tears of happiness now rolling down her cheeks.

I hear footsteps behind me, echoing through the empty corridors.

"That'll be everyone else. Brace yourself." says Raven, helping me back to my bed.

I look to the door, and the first person to come running through it is little Megan. She hasn't changed a single bit, apart from the Capitol clothing she is wearing.

"Phee!" she squeals, throwing herself onto me. I cringe as a stabbing pain spreads throught my side, but I try to put on a brave face as she throws her arms around me.

"You kept your promise." she whispers in my ear, making me smile. She still remembers the day.

"Megan! Be careful!" comes a shout from the doorway.

Emily.

Unlike Megan, she has changed. She looks weary and tired, not as youthful as before.

"My girls." I smile, letting Emily hop up beside me.

Ryan and Hunter follow. I get the impression that they've built an even stronger relationship up while I've been gone, supporting eachother. They're holding hands.

As soon as they see me, they have the exact same reaction. Very comical excitement.

I'm so happy to see them, and judging by their reactions, they're happy to see me too.

Not long after, the room is filled with familliar faces. Treasure is crying, a lot. She is very over emotional, and is being comforted by my prep team. Apparently, they've dyed their hair blue to show support for me.

Joel is obviously very proud of me. We don't discuss Grace.

He tells me the Capitol is keeping Will back in District four so we can be reunited there, which dissappoints me, but honestly, I'm still very happy. I'm with pretty much all of the people who love me and support me. I couldn't ask for much more.

I'm absulutley overwhelmed for the first few minutes, before everyone finally gets a little quieter.

"Now, I think it would be a good idea to go ahead with the interview tomorrow, giving you some more time to recover. We shoukd trick the audience into thinking you're dead, and then have you appear on stage!" smiles Treasure, her eyes bright.

Stella looks up from her kohl tipped lashes at me, asking me for my opinion.

"Do what you want, I'm not bothered really. If you tell them I'm alive, they'll all want to see me right this minute, and I'm not ready for that. I'm not even going to take a look at my scars right now. They still hurt like hell. I don't want to be bombarded by people trying to get into the building." I sigh.

"Then it's settled! We'll announce that the interview is with Raven, Ryan, Hunter and their families, but not announce your death. They'll immedietly think you're dead." she smiles, clasping her hands together.

Sounds like a stupid plan to me, but I'm not going to argue with her. Everyone is too happy, I don't want to disrupt that. Plus, I get an extra day's rest, which I need.

My stylists leave to get everything sorted for tomorrow, and Treasure goes to talk to Cesar and his team. I'm left with my family. Out of the spotlight again, just for a day.

"So, how big is that scar?" asks Ryan. Typical guy.

"I dunno." I shrug. "I'm scared to look to be honest. As I said, it hurts.

"You did really well in the games Phee," says Rebecca. "Everyone back at home was supporting you."

"That's kind of strage to hear." I shake my head in disbelief. "I hardly know any of them."

"But they admire you. I wish you could have seen their faces when they were watching you." says Joel.

"How's the Capitol been treating you then?" I ask, moving Megan off of my knee.

"They're weird." says Megan.

"Megan! Don't say that!" laughs Emily.

"I'm only being honest. Have you seen their hair?! This one woman had hair that was the colour of seaweed! And this man had blue skin!" she yells in disbelief, making everyone laugh.

"Get used to it Megan. I've seen glowing hair." laughs Hunter.

Her mouth is hanging wide open in disbelief now.

"The food is brilliant." says Lewis.

"Oh yeah, how could you forget about the food. It's the best thing!" says Ryan.

We talk endlessly, rebuilding our close knit relationships. I never thought this day would come. I've been so lucky.

An avox walks into the room, and signals that I need to rest. We say our goodbyes, and I am left alone again with the avox.

I find myself wondering, how did she end up like this? Where is she from? I've seen her before the games. She was serving food. There's just something about her, I need to know what happened.

I let my curiousity take over, and ask her if she could get notepad and pen. She gives me a strange look, but sure enough, gets me a notepad and pen.

Oh, we're in the Capitol, notepads and pens are probably extremely outdated.

She starts to walk out of the room.

"Wait!" I say. "Please. I need to ask you something. I know you."

She doesn't shake her head to deny it. She stays put, and I hand her the notepad.

"What's your name?" I ask quietly.

She hesitates, before she begins to write.

She hands me the notepad a few minutes later.

_My name is Natalie. I'm from district four, I'm seventeen years old. You knew me when you were younger, only a little though. I'd like to keep talking. Maybe throuh letters?_

I remember her vaguely, I think anyway. She's a fisherman's daughter.

"Well hi Natalie. I think writing letters would be a great idea. I could leave my letters under my pillow wherever I'm sleeping, you could take it, read it, and replace it with a reply. I'd like that." I smile.

I feel like I can talk to Natalie. It's strange of course, because she's an avox and all, but I feel like I can share my thoughts with her.

That's exactly what I'll do through my letters.

I have a long day tomorrow, I should get some sleep. I'm afraid to close my eyes again, but eventually, I drift off, hoping that I'll wake up again.

**The next chapter will be up sometime. I can't wait to begin writing it, but , yeah. Life isn't treating me well right now. **

**I'll be back to my usual self soon. I'm so sorry for not being able to upload.**

**Please take the time to leave me a little review. I would love to hear what you think.**

**Rest in peace Natalie. I'll never forget you. **


	5. Chapter Four - Rehearsing Old Routines

**Chapter four. Sorry again for the wait, I'm trying to get my life sorted out. As I said before, my best friend died, I'm trying hard to get over it and be happy. Shit happens.**

**I'm feeling a little better, so I'm trying to write more. I've been looking forwards to doing this chapter anyway, so hopefully it will be easier to write.**

**Thank you for your support and patience. **

**Chapter Four - Rehearsing Old Routines**

I wake up pretty early, yet my breakfast has already been served. It seems like a small quantity of food for womeone who has been starving for the past month or so, but once I begin to eat, I realise why they gave me so little.

I haven't even got through half of the breakfast cereal yet and I'm full. My mind wants more food for the sweet taste and satisfaction of knowing that I have had a full meal, but my body can't take any more. I guess my stomach has shrunk. That would make sense. Also, the stinging smell that fills my nose every time I breathe in doesn't help. I can't place the smell, but it certainly isn't very appealing. It's so unnatural, it seems to burn my nose.

I leave the rest of my food, no matter how appealing to the eye it is. My mouth is still watering.

It's dark outside, the sun hasn't risen yet, and the clock beside me tells me that it's half past five. It should be light outside soon, or at least, it would be back in District Four.

I've still got tubes stuck in my arms and up my nose. My doctor promised me that they would be taken out before the interview, today.

Nobody is awake yet.

I guess I have some time to think then.

Questions flood through my mind, and I can barely seperate one from another. I pick some out, important ones right now.

How will the Capitol react?

This one is kind of hard to predict. The people of the Capitol usually freak out over everything, so they'll be happy I'm not dead, but probably feint when I go up on stage. They could be angry at my team for keeping me behind closed doors for so long.

I hope it won't be too overwhelming, appearing on stage again. I need to decide what kind of angle I am going to go for.

It's probably a good idea to portray myself as someone who people in the Capitol look up to and adimre. Someone so close, yet completely untouchable. I don't want to get caught up in all of their gossip and glamour.

I'll do what they want, for now.

I have no idea how long I have been sitting here for, but my life seems to have been going by so fast. It's getting light outside, and I can hear people outside of my room moving around.

It's time to start the show again.

Sure enough, my doctor walks into my room, and as he promised, he takes out all of the tubes, which is a relief, and tells me to wait for my stylists.

I turn on the TV to see if the interviews have been confimed yet. They have.

Everyone is crying, even the reporter. Damn, Treasure might not be so stupid after all. The crowds are hysterical.

In my opinion, the sooner I get up on that stage, the better, before any riots start.

The pain is still pretty bad, they've taken the morphling away, so it's hitting me full on. When I get changed for the interview, I guess I'll get to see the damage.

My stylists are pretty fast, they're here to pick me up already. They help me outof my bed, and my legs are just as unstable as I remember. How I wish I could just lie in bed for another day.

I'll get used to the pain I guess, I'm glad I'll be sitting down for the interview.

It seems like an awful long way to the elevator, but my team help me get there, chatting excitedly to me. I'm thankful for the rails in the elevator.

Through the one way glass, I can see the crowd gathered outside of the building. There's even more people than there was yesterday.

We flash past them, and down to the remake level. The doors open, and I am overwhelmed by a feeling of guilt. It's haunting, seeing all of the diffrent sections, each one devoted to a tribute. The names are still on the doors.

I try to ignore them, but I can't. The room just feels so empty.

We are silent as we walk to the room lableled District Four. Our footsteps echo eerily. I'm guessing that not many people are in on Treasure's plans, and have been told to stay away.

Raven, Ryan and Hunter are already down here. I can hear them talking to their stylists, and the buzzing of TV's in the background.

They lead me into my room, which brings back so many memories. I remember sitting here for the first time, when we arrived in the Capitol, thinking I would never come back. If I could see myself now, what would I say?

They hand me my tablet, and start to work on my hair and makeup. I don't turn it on yet, I just look at myself in the mirror.

It's the first time I've seen myself in a mirror for weeks, maybe even over a month. I look very different from how I remember myself.

My hair is a mess, which makes me happy, a familiar feature. Its the same sandy blonde colour.

My skin is washed out, which makes me look completley diffrent. Im used to my natural tan. I guess I've been indoors for a while though. They'll be able to fix that with makeup, I'm sure. My eyes are still their usual bright blue colour, but they look tired. I have scars too, the most obvious one on my jaw.

My eyebrows, which were thick anyway, have grown out even more. I'm not looking forwards to getting them waxed. I presume that's what they'll do.

It's strange, seeing my own reflection after all these weeks.

I try to distract myself as they attack me with brushes, hot wax, and tweezers. It's nothing compared to the pain I have felt in the arena, but it's annoying.

I just watch them for a while, before trying to start a conversation.

"So, what will I be wearing tonight?" I ask, watching as Stella washes my hair.

"A dress that Marvel designed. It had to fit requirements, as it's the crowning ceremony. It's still beautiful though. You'll like it." says Feicity.

I'm tempted to tell her that I'm looking for a full answer, but I restrain myself from doing so. All I wanted to do was start a conversation.

After they're done with the first stage of my makeover, they begin on my makeup. I just have to sit there, with my eyes closed.

It's the perfect time to fall asleep.

They let me, for about three minutes before waking me up again.

I hate having my eyes closed, it reminds me of when I was trapped, inside my own mind. That's another fear to add to the list.

I hate the feeling of the brushes over my skin, but I have to put up with it. It's only another couple of hours.

You survived the Hunger Games, you can survive this. That's what I tell myself.

After a while, they announce that they're done with the makeup, and they need me to stand up for the dress.

I try to resist, but they pull me up anyway. As I'm getting changed, I see myself in the mirror again. I'm stick thin, bones sticking out in every place possible. How I wish I could be back to my normal weight again.

I also notice the source of my pain. My mouth drops open when I see the scar on my side. It's big, a huge ridge that obviously has some stitches in it. It's a dpcolour slightly darker than my skin, with bruises all around it.

"This dress better cover my scar up." I say to them as they pull it out of the closet.

They tell me to close my eyes, and guide me into it. The smooth, satin like fabric feels lovely against my now soft skin.

They get me to hold onto something while they lace up the back. I have to grit my teeth. It's tight, like a corset. As if I would need one. I hate being this skinny, I feel fragile.

The Capitol are literally trying to make me into a living doll.

They tell me that they're done with the dress, and that they need me to stand still while they get shoes and accessories. I'm yet again, glad I have something to hold onto.

They come back, and I can feel them tugging violently at my hair, before sliding something cold into it. Then, they get me to step into the shoes.

"This would be much easier if I had my eyes open y'know." I mumble as they fasten them. Thank god they're not that high, or I wouldn't be able to walk at all.

They then lead me over to the full length mirror, and tell me to open my eyes.

I'm hesitant, but I do as they tell me.

The girl standing before me doesn't look like me. She looks like a victor.

I'm in a full length ivory gown, with a flowy skirt that pools on the floor around me. They tell me it's made from chiffon. It makes me look elegant and poised. The bodice is tight, very tight. It's made of the same material, and has some beautiful beading on it. It matches the crown on my head.

The crown is beautiful, and is covered in ivory beading and pearls. It sticks out from my hair, which is wavy, but naturally so. My skin is back to it's normal colour, and my makeup isn't over the top. It's soft, just like my outfit. There are some crystals on my face, around my eyes, designed to match the pearls and beading.

"It's beautiful. Thank you. But I thought President Watson had the crowns?" I ask, confused.

"Oh, he does. We'll just take this crown off of you when you're making your way up to the balcony." smiles Mavel, pleased that I like his work.

I look to TV, which has been on silent the whole time. It's dark outside already.

I guess I really am losing track of time.

"Should we go? We don't want to be late." I say, gesturing to the TV. It's already showing Cesar talking to the crowd.

"You're meant to be late. Remember?" laughs Felicity, straightening out my skirt for me, making sure it falls perfectly to the ground.

"The interviews take place outside the President's mansion, don't they? How are we going to get there without being seen?" I ask.

"Easy. We've got access to trains that run underground, remember? " says Stella.

"Nope. You never told me that." I reply.

"We did. You must forget things easily." says Felicity, backing Stella up.

We take the elevator to the floor below us. I'm glad to be out of that empty floor.

Sure enough, there's a little train station, with trains ready to go.

We get on and sit down in our seats, ready to go.

The nerves begin to kick in as I rehearse my lines in my head. I have to say the right things, do the right things, and generally be a perfect person.

That's impossible though.

There's no such thing as a perfect human being.

**So, that was chapter four! I hope you enjoyed it, as you can see, I have a bit of a passion for fashion design. I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as I can. The story hasn't even really started yet, I'm just kind of filling in all of the gaps before it all kicks off again, which should be soon.**

**Please take a moment to review guys, I'd love to know how I'm doing.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**BethanyDee x x**


	6. Chapter Five - Bright Lights

**Chapter five. Thank you guys so much for your kind reviews, favourites and follows. I really do appreciate every single one of them.**

**I've been drawing my characters and what they will wear for the interviews for inspiration, they actually look quite good in my opinion! **

**Hopefully this chapter will be up soon.**

**Chapter Five - Bright Lights**

Our train begins to slow down, and I can already hear the screams of the crowd. Someone must be up on stage already. We quickly step out of the train doors, and climb a set of stairs up to double doors, which lead to the backstage area. Everyone looks shocked to see me, but don't say anything, well, apart from throwing a couple of compliments my way. It's very busy, there are many people running around, but the only noise I can hear is from the crowd.

I guess the people backstage been told to stay quiet, so that they don't give anything away.

The noise from the crowd is tremendous. I'm presuming many of them are distraught, Cesar seems to be having a hard time keeping them under control. I'm just guessing from what I see on the screens.

I hear my wild heartbeat as my stylists take me to the stairs leading to the stage. Apparently, when Raven starts crying over me, I have to go up on stage.

She knows what she has to do, and I know what I have to do. I watch the screens until then.

It's strange, seeing all of my family on stage, all dressed up like people from the Capitol. I must admit that they're doing pretty well.

My stylists are working on last minute adjustments to my makeup, hair and costume, so all I have to do is stand still.

I'm doing my best to hold back my nerves and show composure, radiate confidence like I used to, but it's harder than I remember.

I look up to the screen, inhaling deeply. Cesar is talking to Megan and Emily. Behind them, on a large screen, is a picture of them, when I was picked at the reaping. I can remember seeing it on TV. Megan screamed out and Emily pulled her into a hug while they both cried.

The emotions come flooding back, and I wipe under my eyes, being sure not to smudge my makeup.

I know that they both probably had rehearsed lines, but they're not following them. They've got the Capitol wound around their little fingers, in their matching ivory tutu dresses. The skirts are layers upon layers of huge ruffles, making them look younger than they are.

I'm pretty sure that they can get away with saying anything. They seem to be following the unspoken rules though.

Everyone is wearing ivory. That will be the requirement my stylists were talking about then.

Cesar moves on to Raven, who is having to practice her skills as an actress. She knows I'm alive, and she knows that I was never angry in the first place, yet the Capitol think I'm dead, and that she made me angry.

She's coping well though. She's using her body language and eyes to show her feelings, and not doing anything over the top. Raven can be convincing when she wants to be,

I twist my engagement ring around my finger nervously, running my fingers over the tiny silver flowers. Waiting for my cue.

I'm in the zone now. I'm remembering everything I did before. My old routine.

"So, Raven. We're all distraught at the loss of your sister. Do you have any thoughts you'd like to share with us?" asks Cesar, his voice slow, full of sympathy.

He's in on it of course. He's just tremendously convincing, and the act is working on the people of the capitol of course.

I can tell that Raven also has well rehearsed lines, and she sticks to them this time.

"Cesar, I just... I don't know what to say. I miss her so much, and I feel so guilty. She could have won, and I would have happily taken that knife for her. I'm sorry..." she cries, tears falling down her cheeks. She's trying hard to bring those emotions back.

Felicity taps me on the shoulder, and I know it's my time to go up on stage.

I make the nerves go away, push them to one side. It's just people from the capitol. That's what I have to tell myself.

The light hits me as I step out from backstage, and I can see people's heads turning. A confused murmur turns into a roar that could be heard from District Four.

All focus is on me now. I'm back in the spotlight.

In a well rehearsed move, all of my family jump up from their seats and run towards me, pulling me into a group hug, being carfeul of my injuries.

The crowd scream for what seems like an eternity, before Cesar manages to calm them down. After that, there is complete silence. Every single person in the nation now has their eyes on me, and it's a strange feeling. A familliar, but strange one.

We all take our seats, and Cesar begins to talk.

"Well, Phoenix, what a surprise to see you here!" he smiles. That sends the crowd into another wild fit of screams.

"Thank you Cesar. I couldn't be happier to be here." I smile back, trying to imagine that there's not so many people watching me.

"I couldn't be happier to have you here. Now,what does everyone else think of your return?"

More screams. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm deaf by the end of this interview.

"Oh, you. Stop with the flattery, I'll be the colour of a tomato by the end of this!" I laugh. I ignore the stabbing pain in my side, not letting it show one bit.

"What is it like, having Phoenix back?" asks Cesar, turning to face my family.

"I'm the happiest girl in the world right now." smiles Raven, still wiping her tears away.

"No, I am!" says Emily, jumping out of her seat to emphasize her point. This makes everyone, including Emily herself laugh.

"Ryan, any thoughts?" prompts Cesar.

"Word's can't describe what I'm feeling right now." he shrugs, giving me a small smile. The crowd are content with that answer. He seems to have his own little fan club.

Little is an understatement.

"Hunter?" he asks.

"Well, you supported me throught the games. I'm grateful beyond words for that. I'm so happy that you're back, otherwise I'd have never been able to repay you." she smiles, with a very genuine warmth.

"So, lets see your stories, right from the start." says Cesar.

The room darkens, and our chairs turn around to face the screen in front of us. I don't want to relive this, but I can't go anywhere.

I begin to panic, and someone obviously notices. Ryan closes his hand around mine. His way of telling me that he's there for me.

I turn to him and smile nervously, tightening my grasp on his hand.

I try to block it out from the start. Show no emotion, but I'm forced to watch.

From the funniest moments to my lowest points, it shows it all.

That's when I realise.

I'm fragile china, a breakable doll,

In the hands of a careless child,

Broken, cracks starting to show on what was once a perfect, pretty face,

Stuck together with nothing.

One day, something's going to break me.

Whether it be the Capitol, or time itself,

One day, I'm not going to be able to handle it anymore.

And I'll shatter, into a million tiny pieces.

My grip tightens around Ryan's hand so much that he turns to me. I feel the need to run, I have to get out of here. My feels like it's beating as fast as hummingbird's wings.

Ryan knows what's happening. Just like before the games. It's all getting too much. He keeps me in my seat, holding onto me tightly, using the darkness to his advantage.

I don't fight him. I know he's helping.

I have to remind myself to breathe properly, how not to make the Capitol think I'm insane.

The film is almost at it's end. Raven is being cornered by all of the other tributes, and as soon as she lets out that scream, the camera cuts straight to me.

I can't look from that point on. All I can hear are my own desperate screams mixed with Raven's.

Then, everone goes silent, and I know it's almost over. Only a few more minutes. Then crowning, then, it's all over, and I have to go back to my room.

I see the lights turn back on, dazzling me for a second.

Cesar shakes each of our hands, then we walk off of the stage to get ready for the ceremony.

As soon as I'm off of the stage, my composure is gone. My smile falls, and the tears begin to fall. My stylists are ready with tissues, comforting me. They take the crown out of my hair, and give me a quick pat on the back.

"You did great." they smile at me, smoothing out my hair.

"No I didn't I had a panick attack on stage." I say quietly.

"It was dark, and nobody noticed a thing. You did great." says Marvel. "Time to go. You'll do great."

We are all shoved into an elevator together, and somehow, we end up behind the doors that lead to the balcony.

The crowd is cheering, so the President must already be out there. Treasure is behind us, ready to push us out of the doors at the right moment.

As soon as the crowd falls silent, the doors are pulled open, and the huge crowds are revealed to us. The President is waiting for us.

I give a quick wave to the crowd while the anthem is blared out of huge speakers mounted on the stage below us.

Once the anthem finishes, the President congratulates us, and places the simple, sliver bands around our heads. Raven has to hold hers on.

We have to stay there for photos, but after what seems like forever, we get to dissappear back behind the doors again.

We are ushered back into the train, and arrive in our original rooms, in our empty training centre.

I strip out of my dress, and place the crown on the dresser beside me. It means next to nothing to me.

I ruffle my hair in the mirror, trying to get it back to it's usual messy state, and do my best to wash all of my makeup off. There are still black stains smudged across my face after I am done, but that's as much effort as I am willing to put in.

I fall back onto my bed, sprawled out as much as possible. I'm still panicking, and it's not a nice feeling. I need to calm down, I need to forget.

I reach into my drawer, and my bottle of morphling pills is there.

I promised myself I wouldn't do this again, but I have to. It's the only way I can make my existance tollerable anymore.

I don't even know how many you're supposed to take, but it take three.

I reach over to put the container back into the drawer, and spot a small, folded up piece of paper.

_I don't know why these are here, but I decided not to move them. You did very well in your interviews by the way. Are we still going to write letters?_

My thoughts are slow, but I can still work out who the note is from. Natalie, the avox.

I have so many questions I still want to ask her, but right now, the morphline makes descisions for me. I barely have time to put the paper back before I black out.

_I take these pills at night to put me to sleep, to help me forget the world,_

_But even a bottle full of dreams could never set me free,_

_I'm forever trapped in this sinister world, waiting for death to come,_

_And yet I want to escape it._

_The closest to free I'll ever be,_

_Is the rest that these pills offer me._

**So, that was chapter five. Sorry for the wait, I've been suuuppperrr busy recently. I always have to put school ahead of this story, as I'm aiming big. I'm already working three years ahead of the average for people my age in pretty much every class, and teachers put a lot of pressure on me. I know I can do well, so that's my main focus just now.**

**I'm still a little down, but I'm trying my best to go back to normal again.**

**Next chapter should be up soon.**

**Thanks for reading as usual,**

**BethanyDee x x**


	7. Chapter Six - Heading Home

**Chapter six. I think I've finally got the plot of this story figured out!**

**I'm going to be super busy this month, but I'm going to try and write when I can. I'm also developing a new story, which I will hopefully start soon. After this story is finished though, as I like to focus on one story at a time. You'll have to wait a while! I might start on it if I have spare time...**

**I will continue to update, so don't worry! Again, thank you for reading. Your continued support is amazing.**

**Chapter Six - Heading Home**

I'm thankful when my eyes open, once again revealing the bright, vibrant world that my own brain was keeping me from. I went back into the shadows, trapped in the dark, suffocating in the thick, dark smoke. My screams muffled.

I just want to forget about last night. Pretend it never happened. Although, deep down, I know that it did. I find it hard to lie, even to myself. It's not necessarily something I want to get better at.

Today is the day that I can finally leave the Capitol. Hunter, her Mother, and her Grandfather are coming to live in District Four with us, as the rules stated. In the rare case of a mixed district team winning the games, the team must live in one district.

Hunter said she wanted to come back to District Four and leave all of her bad memories behind. She wants to leave her brother behind too. I don't blame her.

I can't wait to get home. I can almost smell the salty sea air, hear the ever present roar of the waves, and feel the golden, sun warmed sand running through my fingertips.

My own personal paradise. Compared to this place at least.

All I have to do is get out of bed, get dressed, and get onto that train. I'll be on my way home.

It's such an unusual thought. Home. The place I haven't been to for months. The place where I spent all of my life before this mess.

Home.

I miss it so much. Every pathway I walked, every little cove, cave and meadow. I can see them vividly.

The more I think about it, the more desperate I am.

I push off the blankets and try standing up. My head hurts like hell, but it's my own fault, and so, I have to get over it.

For once, I can dress myself, and not be treated like a baby. Just like old times.

I open up the walk in closet, and try to pick out a normal looking outfit. I can't imagine turning up at home wearing something like Treasure wears.

It would be pretty hilarious though.

I come across a shapeless short dress, made of a comfortable looking, soft, white material. I guess it'll do. I struggle to put it on, but eventually, I manage. Every single pair of shoes in the closet are heels, so I try to find the lowest ones. They are still ridiculously high and extremely uncomfortable.

I walk through to the bathroom to brush through my hair and brush my teeth. The whole place is ridiculously clean, every single surface is reflective. It's scary, seeing myself from so many angles. My hair has grown way past my shoulders now. Great. It's going to be even harder to brush.

I push it to one side, brush my teeth with the horribly minty toothpaste. It seems to burn the insides of my mouth.

I begin to pack up my few belongings. My already empty room seems even emptier after all of my stuff is gone. I can't resist picking up the songbook, the original one.

There is one thing I was planning on leaving behind, but I can't help slipping it into my bag at the last minute.

The bottle of morphling pills.

I also begin to write a letter, to Natalie.

_Dear Natalie,_

_I'll see you when I come back to the Capitol, I'm sure I will..._

I'm interrupted by a knock on my door. That will be Treasure, pulling me out of my room. I quickly sit on my notepad, and throw my pen away, before shouting,

"Come in!"

The door opens, and Natalie reveals herself.

"Hey Natalie. You scared me! I was just writing,"

She interrupts me by handing me a note.

_I managed to get the job as your avox! I'll stay at your house, and be there any time you need me._

"Natalie! That's great! I'll look after you, you desrve more than this." I say, pulling her into a hug. She smiles shyly, before hurrying out of my room.

I know why, I can hear someone approaching, most likely, Treasure. Unless anyone else has taken to wearing heels.

I guessed correctly. She barges into my room, and a look of shock momentarily crosses her face. She disguises it well though, and turns to face me.

"I see that you're ready to go. That's brilliant. It will be strange, not having you here. You'll come back soon, won't you? We're trying to get you your own apartment here. So you can visit whenever you want. Won't that be great?"

Ugh, now I'm inspected to come back to the Capitol because I want to? I hold back a look of disgust, nod politley, and pick up my bag.

She leads me out of my room, and I can't help looking back as the door closes. I don't like to admit it, but this place has become a second home. I'll miss it, for sure.

We meet up with everyone travelling back into District Four. Ryan, Raven, Hunter, Joel, Megan, Emily, Rebecca, Lewis, Hunter's mom Elanor, Hunter's Grandfather, Donna and Jonothan.

Natalie will be in a diffrent part of the train.

Elanor is just how I imagined her. A frail looking woman, with mouse brown hair that falls just past her shoulders, framing a boney face. Her eyes have a certain quality to them though. They're a warm brown, with a friendly quality to them. Without the stress of her son to deal with, she'll come out of her shell.

We say our goodbyes to our stylists, who are crying yet again. I never thought I would, but I'm actually going to miss them too.

Treasure gives each one of us a hug, and makes us promise that we will see her again soon.

The doors are pushed open, and it seems like the whole of the Capitol are there to see us off. After the intital blinding flash of cameras has calmed down, Treasure advises us to go and say goodbye to some of the crowd, before we get into the cars and head off towards the train station.

I try not to look tok reluctant as I walk over to the barriers, where thousands of hands reach out, as if the security would let them touch me.

I'm unsure of how to start.

"I'd just like to thank you all for your warm welcome, and equally warm goodbye. I promise that I'll come back here sometime. Your support has been amazing, so thank you, every single one of you." I smile, making it up as I go along

People begin screaming and chanting our names as we make our way to the awaiting cars. The door is opened for me, and I get in, pleased that I get a chance to rest.

The door closes, and the noise is immedietly muffled. I can hear people banging on the windows.

I give one last tentative wave, even though they can't see me through the glass, before the car sets off.

I'm all by myself, everyone else is in seperate cars. All I can hear is the muffled noise of the engine, all I can see are the streets if the Capitol flashing by, people lined up at the sides of the road.

We arrive at the station, and my door is opened for me. I am met with the usual cheering and screaming.

It's not long before the others join me, and we are walked to the train doors, guarded heavily by security. We give our last waves to the crowd, and begin to get onto the train.

I wait until last, and help Emily, Megan, and Raven up.

Everyone remembers this getsure from before the games.

I'm last still on the platform.

I turn around, and give a small smile, before climbing up onto the train, the door closing immedietly behind me.

I can still hear the screams.

"Goodbye Phoenix, we love you!"

I feel immensely lived and important, which is strange. To think that I acually mean anything to anyone besides my family... Its just not something that happens every day, to me anyway.

**That was chapter six. Chapter seven should be up soon. As I said, I'm going to be really busy over these next few weeks, so hopefully, I'll write chapter seven before things get too hectic. **

**As always, thank you so much for reading.**

**BethanyDee x x**


	8. Chapter Seven - Closer

**Chapter Seven. Hopefully this chapter will be up pretty soon.**

**IMPORTANT - I have started the story I have been planning for the past few weeks. I couldn't help myself. If you could go and heck it out, that would be great. If you like it great, If you don't, then you can stick to this story. It's called "Among The Ash Heaps".**

**I've been listening to a lot of music to help inspire me latley. In my opinion, it seems to be **

**Anyway, here's the chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seven - Closer**

I make my way through to the lounge, where everyone else is, and sit down next to Ryan, who looks distant. He's staring out of the window, his head rested in his hands. I look into his eyes, trying to tell what he is thinking, but it's impossible. He's always been like that.

We are all silent for a while, every single one of us. Lewis has wondered off to admire the technology, and Hunter's grandfather has gone straight to the food cart, but apart from them, we're all in the same place.

"I can't wait to get home." I say, looking out to the changing landscape. We're just about to cross over the reservior. Megan and Emily are kneeling on the seats, trying to get a good view.

"Me neither. I'll miss our hut though." Ryan sighs, not making eye contact.

"Oh, yeah. They're making us move into the victors village, aren't they?" I moan, watching as the great body of water flashes by in an instant.

"We can always make it feel like home. Do some extra decorating." suggests Raven.

"I suppose. It'll never be the same though." I shrug, turning my attention away from the window as we enter a tunnel.

"What's District Four like then?" asks Hunter. I've described a few things to her, but not much. She'll want to know what she's gotten herself into.

"It's beautiful. It really is. You have privacy, everyone minds their own business, and the peacekeepers aren't that bad, as long as you stay out of their way." I smile, watching her face carefully. She smiles back, and turns to Elanor, who starts to speak.

"It will be a wonderful place to start a new life, I'm sure of it." she says, genuine warmth in her voice.

"We can show you around once we get there, all of the beaches, the meadows, the creeks..." sighs Raven. She's glad to be going home too, I can tell.

The landscape is becoming wilder and more beautiful as the hours go by. We're certainly out of Capitol territory. I don't know how long we've been stuck on this train for.

The sky has darkened, and stars are beginning to show despite the thick clouds that blanket the sky.

I've left the lounge, and I've gone back to my room. I can still remeber how to get there, after all these weeks.

It looks untouched, just like how I left it. Everything in the same place as I remeber it.

I ordered a small amount of food, hoping that Natalie would deliver it. It wasn't her, but I can still enjoy my meal. I can handle more food than before, which makes me happy. I feel much less wasteful when I don't leave anything on the plate.

There was an announcement over the speakers that we would be stopping for fuel in a few minutes, which means that I can get some fresh air. I've been stuck on this train for a whole day, and it's about time that I get to stretch my legs, even if it's only for a few seconds.

I feel the train slowing, and immedietly jump off of my bed, pulling the satin sheets off of me as I make my way to the nearest door.

Apparently, most people have the same idea as me. We end up sitting in a row on the stairs leading to the open train door, our feet dangling off of the edge.

The chilling air is a welcome relief, making me feel refreshed and awake.

Megan sits on my knee, telling me that Emily is asleep, and that she has nobody to play with. I tell her to get some fresh air while she can, and that I'll play with her after the train starts moving again.

Ryan and Hunter sit to my left, and Rebecca sits to my right, staring out into the darkness as if she can see something. The truth is, it's impossible to see anything. It's just too dark.

Raven must be asleep. She did look tired this morning.

So, we start conversation.

I try not talk as little as possible at first, but eventually, I get asked a direct question.

I have to ask Rebecca to repeat herself.

"Are you nervous about being a mentor next year?" she asks.

I pause for a second. I never thought about that. I'll have to guide two people from my District, and probably see them die. Next year.

"I can't let that happen." I whisper, shaking my head.

"Can't let what happen? Phee? What are you talking about?" asks Hunter, turning to face me.

My brow furrows as everything falls into place.

"I have to go. I'll play with you later Megan." I whisper, kissing the top of her head as I get up and walk towards my room, a whirlwind of thoughts flying through my head.

I lock my door behind me, and sit down on my bed, frozen in the same position.

All the pieces fall into place. I know what I have to do.

The capitol will never leave us alone. We're always going go be in some sort of danger, we're never going to be truly happy again. Until the day we die, we are their property, and according to them, they can do whatever the hell they want with us.

I have to stop this.

I remember, before the games, Ryan, Grace and I were sitting on the beach, discussing what is beyond the horizon.

Well, for me, there's safety. I have to figure out how to get everybody I care about over there, and give them a second chance at life. The people who are reaped next year too.

That's exactly what I'll do.

They deserve better than this. If I can get myself over there too, I will.

I just have to find a way...

I'm just going to have to trust that there is something left there.

That's enough brainstorming for one night. I'm going to give myself a headache.

I decide to tell the others about my plan when I've figured it all out. It'll be a while yet, but I'm sure I can do it.

I'm pulled out of my trance by a quiet knock on my door. Oh, I forgot about my promise to Megan. I don't know how long I've been sitting here for, but I'm surprised she's not asleep yet.

I force myself out of my sprawled position on the bed, and unlock the door, pulling it open quietly. Sure enough, Megan is standing there.

"Megan, I'm so sorry, I got caught up in my own thoughts." I sigh.

"It's okay, as long as you play a game with me." she smiles.

I didn't expect her to forgive me that easily.

"What do you want to play?" I ask, opening the door a little wider, letting her walk into my room.

"I have my pebble game, that's always fun." she says, taking out the small wooden case.

"I haven't played that in ages, you're going to win." I smile, kneeling down as she sets up the game on the floor.

It consists of a board with eight little divots in it, and many small pebbles, straight from the beach back in District Four.

I pick one up, feeling the rough, familliar texture against my skin.

"No, you're supposed to put three in each divot, like this." she explains, dividing them equally.

"I know, it's just, I've been away from home for a long time. It's nice to see something familiar. " I sigh.

"You can move pebbles one, two, or three divots up at a time. The goal is to get rid of all of your pebbles. First one to do that wins." she smiles.

I smile as we start to play the familliar game, the sound of the pebbles hitting the varnished wood is music to my ears. Joel made this for her, I can tell.

"I missed you y'know." I sigh, watching as she tries to figure out how to win. She looks up, the look of intense concentration vanishing from her face.

"I missed you too." she says, reaching out for my hand.

"Were you okay without me?" I ask.

"Yeah, but it was strange, not having you around." she sighs.

"Well I'm back now. I'm sure there's a house for you guys in the Victor's Village, so you can come and visit me any time you want. I'll be right next door." I smile.

Her mouth drops.

"Really?" she asks.

I nod, smiling.

"They were building new houses, especially for us. Ryan requested that they keep one of the old ones, for you guys, since they wouldn't build you a new one. You deserve the house more than us, but they insisted that we couldn't give our house to you. We would have been quite happy with our hut, but..."

She just looks at me in shock, before jumping on me, and giving me a hug so tight that I can hardly breathe, interrupting my little announcement.

I manage to push her off, and we both start laughing. When we stop, she moves the three pebbles left in her side of the board over to mine, before smiling radiently.

"I win."

**So, Phoenix is forming a plan... A very big plan.**

**A bit of a happy ending to the chapter there, the story probably isn't going to stay happy though. I'm not the kind of person who writes completley happy stories. There always has to be a dark side...**

**Anyway, I'm sorry for the wait. I was training for a gymnastics competition, and guess what...**

**I won! Yay! **

**I'm still going to be quite busy for the rest of the month, so sorry if I keep you guys waiting.**

**Thank you for reading!**

**BethanyDee x x **


	9. Chapter Eight - Home at Last

**Chapter Eight already. I didn't really realise I'd done this many chapters until now...**

**As I said in my last chapter, I'm super busy right now, so it might take a while for this chapter to be put up. Sorry, but I can't help it at all. I've got a got to do, and I can't focus all of my attention on writing, as much as I would like to.**

**So! Lets start then!**

**Chapter Eight - Home at Last**

"Hunter, Raven, Ryan! Look!" I yell as I pull back the heavy curtains, recognising something very familliar to me, something close to my heart.

The ocean of district four. I'm finally here, I made it back home. I'm still in one piece, I'm not in a wooden box, I'm not dead. I'm not okay, but I'm not dead, and its a relief. I can see the place I love so much once again, even though my life will never be the same.

As Ryan and Raven run through into the lounge, and announcement sounds over the speakers, informing us that we will arrive at the station in fifteen minutes.

"I can't belive I'm actually here." I whisper, pressing my hand up against the window.

"Me neither." laughs Raven. "I still think I'm dreaming."

"You're not, I promise." I smile.

It's a beautiful day. The sun shines brightly, there is hardly a cloud in the sky.

The light makes everything look brighter, more vibrant, and more beautiful. The long grass blows in the slight breeze, the flowers growing inbetween it creating a blur of colours as we speed by them.

The sea is calm, I can see a few fishing boats out on the waves. The cliffs don't seem as intimidating on a beautiful day like this.

"Wow, it really is pretty." says Hunter, pressing her face up against the glass like a small child.

I dust off my white dress, running my fingers through my hair as another announcement sounds.

"Now approaching District Four, Station One."

I sigh, and help Raven up with a shaking hand.

"I can't believe I'm nervous about this." I laugh at myself.

"I think we all are, deep down." smiles Raven.

We wait at the door of the train as it slows down, and finally stops.

I can hear a crowd of people gathered outside, not screaming like the people of the capitol would be, just chatting amongst themselves. That reassures me. These are people I know, they're not monsters. They don't want to hurt me.

"Hey, remember when you were in that crowd? When I won?" asks Jonothan from behind me.

"Yeah." I smile, thinking back, "I was happy for you."

"These people are happy for you. They don't hate you, so don't be nervous."

I nod, running my fingers across the hairband that holds my hair in a side ponytail, keeping my hair out of my face, leaving me feeling exposed. I can't hide behind anything now.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of District Four, your victors, Hunter Rivera, Ryan Hocking, Raven Raina Hocking, and Phoenix Victoria Hocking!"

The train doors open, and we step out into the light. There is thunderous applause.

I smile, and search the crowd for familliar faces. There are Capitol cameras on us already..

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, and turn around.

I am met by a familliar face.

"Will!" I smile, burying my face in his chest, trying to keep back the tears forming in my eyes.

"Phee. Oh my god, Phee. It's you." I hear him whisper, resting his chin ontop of my head.

"It's you." I whisper, looking up into his eyes. "It's really you..."

"It's me." he smiles.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." I whisper, my voice cracking, making way for tears that fall onto my cheeks. Tears of joy. I'm on cloud nine right now.

Officials try to seperate us, but I keep my hand in his, apart from when I have to do my speech.

I make my way up to the microphone, watching the crowd.

"I know you all have things to do and places to go, so I'm going to try and keep this short." I say, pulling out the cards that Treasure gave me, cutting out anything that I feel is unnecessary.

"I would just like to thank you all for your support. This experience was certainly a tough one, but I've made some great memories. Met some great people." I pause to look over to Hunter, before looking back to my cards, and decide to say what I want to say.

"My experience has made me appreciate how lucky I am to be here. How lucky I am to be alive. I now take nothing for granted." this is true. The few things that I used to take for granted, like the beauty of our district, or the comfort of my home, I am now careful to appreciate.

"So, once again, thank you all for your support. I hope that I represented our district well." I smile, stepping back from the microphone. Raven takes my place. I can see her hands shaking as she looks out to the crowd. She's scared of them. That's a first.

She reads off of her cards, and everything goes well. When she steps back from the microphone, she clasps my hand tightly. I give hers a reassuring squeeze, telling her that everything is okay.

Ryan's speech is very short, and he reads nothing from the cards. He is obviously restraining himself from saying certain things. Although, the crowd probably wouldn't have minded if he had said what he was truly thinking.

I'm curious to see what Hunter is going to do. She keeps her face straight as she steps forwards, judging the crowd's rections.

"So, Hello. My name is Hunter. In case you didn't know, my family and I have moved here from District Eight. I hope you don't mind.

We can't wait to start a new life here. I haven't had the best upbringing,and starting from today, I'm going to try and put the past behind me.

"I would like to thank you all for your support in the games. I know I'll never really be able to repay those of you who sponsored me." she adds, glancing to the mayor and his wife. "But I'm going to help the community as much as I can. Thank you." she says, stepping back.

The mayor stands up, and says a few words, before two children make their way onto the stage and present us with flowers. I recognise them, from the meadows.

I am about to thank them, and comment on the beauty of the colours, but they have darted away from us already.

After a few last words from the Mayor, we are presented with the keys to our houses. Hunter and her family have their own home, Ryan, Raven and I have our own home, and Will and his family have the last remaining old house.

I do appreciate that they were allowed to move into the old house. For once, someone, somewhere, whoever is in charge of housing, showed some generosity.

We pass our old hut on the way to the Victor's Village. It is parcially destroyed, presumably by the storm that hit before the reaping.

I look away as soon as I see it, wiping away a tear. My childhood home, gone.

"Phee, come on. Don't look." says Will, wrapping his arm around my waist and gently pushing me forwards.

I don't resist, I don't want to upset myself any more today.

The Victors Village sits on a hill, giving a view over the whole town. Beyond that, the ocean. I'm glad I can see the ocean, it's comforting for me. If I couldn't, I don't know what I'd do.

The only other people living up here are Jonothan and his three brothers, Donna, who lives on her own, and a past victor, who Donna knows well. Eric. Eric acts like a father to Donna, apparently.

We approach the houses. This is going to be a big change.

They are two floors high. The windows are large, letting light in. The walls are a cream colour, the roof is sloping, covered in beautiful tiles. No more leaks in the roof then.

We split up, allowing eachother to get used to our new homes.

I see Natalie, standing by the door as we make our way towards our house. I greet her, still in a state of shock.

I push open the door to the glass porch, turning back to Ryan and Raven and I look around. It's warm, the result of sun shining through the glass.

I open the second door, and take my first look.

It's amazing, yet strange. I would far rather live in my hut, but this is what I'm stuck with.

The floor is covered in large tiles, smooth under my feet. Everything is very sleek and smooth, reflective. The living room is straight ahead of us. There are two couches, and a plastic table with matching chairs. We even have a TV.

Glass doors lead to the garden. The grass in straight, green, all the same length, unnatural. I can't wait until it grows. I could even plant some flowers. Wildflowers, not like ones from the Capitol. I could create my own meadow, my own paradise.

The kitchen is around the corner. We have a fridge, and an oven, meaning we must have electricity. This is absulutley unreal. My life has changed, and I'm not sure whether it is for the better, to be honest.

Upstairs, there is a bathroom, and three diffrent bedrooms, and a spare room, all leading to a balcony. I have a feeling that this is where I'll spend most of my time, out here on the balcony. Looking out to sea, thinking.

I'll make the spare room into a room for Natalie. I promised her that I would give her a chance to start over here. I try not to break my promises.

I stand, leaning over the railings, letting the cold air hit my face as I watch the sun setting over the cliffs, casting shadows on across the ground, and turning the sky a beautiful shade of orange. The birds have stopped singing, the warmth of day has gone. Night is approaching.

I'm on my own now. Everyone else is trying to get some sleep. I would be doing the same, if I could. I just can't though. I need time to think, I need space. Just for a few hours.

I have so much to think about. Sleep just doesn't seem to matter anymore, in this chaotic world. If I was asleep, I would be missing out on life. I need to make the most of every moment, because life is short. I may be young, but I don't have much time left. How many more summers will I have before I'm gone? How many more memories can I make before I'm left thinking back, wishing I had done more?

I need to leave my mark on this world.

Yet, I wish I could just go back to living normally. I don't want all of this. I don't need the glamour, all of this is unnecessary.

I just want my life back. My simple, ordinary life.

That's not possible when you want to save everyone though. I can't lead a double life. I can't be the hero, and the person who needs to be saved.

I guess, right now, I'm stuck in the middle, being torn apart while time ticks away.

**So, that's the end of chapter eight. I'm so sorry for the ridiculously long wait, I try not to let things like this happen, but I just couldn't update for a while, I have so much to do. I'll try not to let that happen again.**

**If you're still reading, thank you for your patience.**

**BethanyDee**


	10. Chapter Nine - Change

**Hi again guys. Sorry about the wait. Yet again, I've been really, really busy. I hope I can make up for it with this chapter. I think I might just upload two tonight. We'll see. Anyways, thank you if you are still reading. It really does mean a lot to me.**

**Chapter Nine - Change**

_Knock, knock._

I pull my head out of my pillow, my eyes heavy with sleep. I had a troublesome night, and I bet that it shows.

I run a hand through my tangled hair and sit up. Judging by the amount of light coming through the window, it seems that I have slept all day. Everyone has given me the space and time I needed to get myself together. Partly. I'm like a china doll, that somebody has dropped and attempted to glue back together again. I've been broken, and half fixed. The cracks are sill there, and I could break again at any second.

It's strange, being back here, living in this new home. Really, it's adding to the stress.

Last night, I realised that I am never going to go back to my old life. I just stood there in shock, until Natalie ushered me inside, and tucked me into bed. I didn't say a word. Then, I lay there, in darkness, going over the plan that has been forming in my head.

_Knock, knock._

Somebody is at my bedroom door.

"Phee? It's Raven. Everybody was wondering if maybe, you wanted to come to the beach with us? I understand if you don't, but it really would be nice..." I hear the familliar voice.

"Raven, hey." I smile, pulling myself out of the layers of sheets and blankets, and wandering over to open the door. I'm still in my dress from yesterday.

"Rough night?" she asks when she sees me.

"Yeah." I whisper. I don't need to hide the fact, as it's pretty obvious.

We are silent for a few seconds, and I realise her bloodshot eyes, and the dark circles that surround them.

I'm not the only one then.

"So, do you want to come with us? Everyone's going, it's going to be fun." she says.

"Who is everyone? " I sigh, leaning on the doorframe for support.

"Ryan, Hunter, Hunter's mother and grandfather, Will, Joel, Megan, Emily, Rebecca, Lewis, Donna and Jonothan." she says, counting with her fingers, just to make sure she's right.

"Okay, I'll come. But I'm bringing Natalie." I say.

Raven lets out a squeal of delight, and throws herself onto me, almost knocking me over.

"Woah there." I chuckle, before resting my head ontop of hers.

"Are you okay?" she asks seriously, looking up into my eyes like she can see into my soul.

"Yeah. I've just got a lot of things on my mind. You don't need to worry about me." I comfort her. "What about you? How have you been holding up?" I ask.

"I'm good, now that I know you're okay." she smiles. "I'll see you at the beach in half an hour."

The door closes behind her, and I fall back onto my bed. For once, I don't have to worry about how I look or what I say. I can be myself. I let out a sigh of relief.

I pull off the uncomfortable dress, tossing it into the corner before opening my drawers, and fishing through them until I find some plain shorts and a vest top.

In no more than a few minutes, I am ready to go.

I don't bother putting shoes on.

"Natalie! Natalie, where are you?" I shout. I know she'll probably be cleaning, or lighting a fire. My voice echos around the house.

Sure enough, she walks out of the kitchen door and smiles at me.

"We're going down to the beach soon, and you're coming, whether you like it or not. You're going to enjoy it, I promise." I say, while I grab a cardigan and put it on. I know how cold it gets down at the beach when the sun isn't out.

Ryan and Raven have apparently already left, as I can't find them anywhere.

I've not been this happy for a while, it reminds me of when I was a child.

Natalie and I make our way down to the beach. I love the way the cool grass feels against my bare feet, the chill of the night air, the sound of the ocean. It's very serene.

I break the silence.

"I forgot to ask you, do you want to move into the guest bedroom in our house? It has to be better than where you are staying just now, and we have no guests, so... Why not? You deserve it." I smile warmly.

She smiles and nods furiously.

"Good." I say, hopping over a rock as we make our way down to the cliff path. I can see a fire burning on the beach, and figures. I can hear distant laughter amongst the rolling waves.

"Looks like fun." I smile. Normally, I would be running down to the beach, but I'm afraid of injuring myself. I just walk, helping Natalie along.

We reach the campfire. Everybody is sitting around it, waiting for us. We join them, sitting in the sand, which has been warmed by the fire.

It really is a picture perfect scene. I'm wrapped in Will's arms, and I feel safe there.

And this is the opportunity I have been waiting for.

Megan, Emily, Raven and Lewis go off to play games in the sand, leaving Hunter, Her Mother and Grandfather, along with Will, Joel, Rebecca, Natalie, Donna, Jonothan and I sitting around the fire.

I'm going to tell them about my plan.

"I've been thinking a lot recently, and... I know that we can't live like this. The spotlight will always be on us, and we'll have to be mentors. We'll have to send kids off to their death every year. I just couldn't stand that. So, I've sort of... Thought of a plan." I start.

"Go on..." says Joel, leaning forwards.

"Well, I know this is all going to sound crazy, and there's a lot of gaps in this plan, but just listen for a second.

There's got to be something, beyond the horizon, right? Something better than this. So, that's where I plan to go. I'll take all of us. There's enough seats on a hovercraft.

I'll wait until after the reaping, so we can take the tributes with us too, save them. You guys can come with us to the Capitol, we can stay in the same hotel. We'll go when the games are on, when the whole of Panem's attention is averted. I'll arrange for the tributes to fake their deaths, somehow I'll get through to them. By then, we'll already have stolen a hovercraft, and ripped out the tracker. We'll pick up the tributes, and get out of here. Out of panem. Forever."

There is a few seconds of silence.

"That's smart Phee. Real smart. It might just work, but are we willing to risk it?" asks Jonothan.

"Anything has to be better than a life like this. Think of the future." says Will, looking over to Raven, Megan, Emily and Lewis, who are laughing, blissfully unaware of what's going on.

"Speak of this to nobody." I say, before getting up and running over to the kids, who are drawing in the sand, losing myself in their somewhat blind world, and getting to enjoy myself, just for once. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, at least, for now.

By the time we get back to our house, it is at least midnight. I carry my sister on my shoulders, who is half asleep, her long dark hair hanging in my face. Ryan has offred to carry her, but he needs a break. Natalie walks beside us, exhausted. By the end of the night, we all joined in on the childish games.

I place Raven in her bed, and kiss her forehead, before walking up to my room, and changing out of my sand covered clothes.

I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I need to perfect this plan. I need to give my family a second chance at life. I need to take every opportunity.

I need to change everything, for the better.

**So yeah, that was chapter Nine. I hope you enjoyed, and as always, a review would always be appreciated. Thank you for reading, the next chapter will be a short one, but should be up on the same night as this chapter. Sorry about it being late again, technical problems (explained in next chapter)**

**BethanyDee x x**


	11. Chapter Ten - Time Passes Fast

**So, as I said, this chapter will be a shorter one, but I do hope that you'll enjoy it just as much. I've been having problems with the website recently. It just wouldn't let me log in at all. So, i went through all the possibilities and finally found out that my browser was outdated. So, I've installed a new one, and I can now log in! Sorry about that! **

**Chapter Ten - Time Passes Fast**

- Three Months Have Passed -

Ever since I won the games and thought of this plan, my sanity has been disintegrating. The dark shadows are eating away at my mind, trying to erase what little is left of it. My thoughts are all confused, my memories are slowly self destructing, fading like a dream when you wake up.

I'm losing my sense of time. I no longer know what happened before or after the games, everything is playing inside of my head at the same time, like watching the same film over and over. A chaos of images, with no order. A nightmare from which escape is impossible.

I took it too far. It's all my fault. I take the pills so that I can finally sleep at night. They are my one escape from this cruel world. They bring me peace, put my mind at rest. And yet, they are destroying me, at the same time.

I've been writing night and day for weeks. Trying to put my elaborate schemes down on paper, in code, hidden from the authorities. But that's hard to do when I can't even remember what happened yesterday.

So, I've been trying to put my life down on paper. If I forget everything, the pages of my notebook will serve as my memory. It makes it a little bit easier. It also reassures me slightly. I've not always been one to worry, but recently, I've changed.

The Capitol is leaving me alone for the moment. They're too busy planning the next games to worry about what I'm doing. I know they'll never fully take me out of the spotlight though. According to them, I'm their property. Honestly, I don't give a damn.

For now I need to plan. Maybe even reconstruct my life. I'm falling to pieces, and I know it. It's partly my fault. I'm the one that takes the pills, it's not like I'm forced to. I take them because the capitol has fucked up my happy, normal life. All I want is to live a normal life again, it's the one thing I can't buy with all the money I have.

I've been locked up in my room for months. Planning, writing, crying, sleeping, that's how my days go, one by one, painfully slowly. My family have been slipping food under my door. They tried to tempt me out for the first month, but then, they gave up, knowing how stubborn I am, or so, that's what I wrote.

It seems as if my life now revolvs around making this plan work. It has to work.

Sometimes, I get angry. I can't remember much, but I can see the mess that I've made. The trail of destruction. The paper, ripped into pieces and scattered around the room. My belongings strewn across the floor. That's what happens when I realise there is a flaw in my plan.

Just now, everything is going okay. Just okay. Nothing will be great until I know that my family is truly happy.

I get up from my chair, and walk around my room, picking up a book and placing it back on the shelf, pausing for a second, running my fingers over the bound leather spine.

I turn around to my window. The curtains are closed. They have been for weeks. I don't want the world to see what a state I'm in. I move on from the bookshelf, across the floor which I have paced night and day, and over the closed curtains. I run my fingers up and down the satin-like material, before pulling it back slightly.

Daylight floods into the room, revealing the motes of dust swirling in the air. I let out a small gasp as the it hits me, before letting the fabric slip out of my fingers, closing the gap. The light dissappears, and I am in darkness again.

I walk through to the en-suite bathroom, turning on the light and turning to face the mirror. It's covered with a towel. I must have put it there, nobody else has been in here for months. I can guess why I put it there. So I don't have to look at what I've become.

I reach forwards with shaking hands, and pull back the towel, revealing my reflection. I am almost unrecognizable, and not in a good way.

"This is what i've done to myself..." I whisper, staring into the mirror. My voice is hoarse, low.

My skin has lost all of it's radiency. There are dark circles under my eyes, which are bloodshot. Crust has formed around them too, sticking to my eyelashes. My irises were once a vibrant blue, but now, they are washed out, dead. My hair is tangled, and hangs in front of my face, untamed.

I carefully hand the towel back on the mirror, and walk slowly back through to my room, taking my place back at my desk, sorting through the heaps of paper until I find the one I am looking for.

It's all for good cause. That's all I need to tell myself.

I will get this done. I will go back to my normal, happy life.

**Again, so sorry that this is late. I will be uploading again soon on my other story, so, yeah! Thank you guys so much for reading, a review would be much appreciated. **

**BethanyDee x x**


End file.
